Why People Hate You And What To Do About It

Goda Smilingyte
2 min readOct 27, 2024

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I will start with “Why”.

People don’t like things they don’t understand, be it other people or any kind of art.

We like things that we are used to and everything outside the norm — is shocking, not normal, stupid…. you can continue the list.

So if you receive a bunch of ugly comments about yourself, your activities, relationships, habits or hobbies — you are outside the norm.

Can’t blame them — this is how human brain works. This is exactly why majority of people prefer pop music or realistic paintings of flowers.

There is nothing wrong if they do, my point is — they are used to certain chords, colour schemes and visuals that have been surrounding them since childhood. This is what they understand.

The same goes for social norms.

What can you do about it?

You can’t change others, you can only change yourself.

The question is — do you really need to? You might think people hate you, but actually, most of them don’t care.

Even if they write a naughty comment under your social media post or tell it to your face (majority will never tell it to your face), I assure you, they don’t remember what they said/wrote within a blink of an eye.

And if your close friend or a family member says something naughty about you — it does not mean they wanted to make you feel bad. Most likely this was not their intention.

The best thing you can do is work on your self-esteem and become hate-resistant. Once you become more confident, you will stop caring about what other say.

Remember, it is not normal people who change the world or achieve remarkable things.

Being out of the norm is not easy, but once you grow a think skin — you won’t care anymore.

Another thing you can do is find your tribe.

Avoid people who are bringing you down and connect more with those who are supportive or have same interest.

For example, abstract artists receive a lot of negative “my five year old could paint this” comments, but they are very supportive to each other, because they do understand each other’s passion and perspectives.

Remember:

  1. Nobody cares that much, you are probably overreacting.
  2. Work on building confidence and self-esteem.
  3. Find your tribe of like minded people and you won’t feel alone.

What are your thoughts on this? Let me know by leaving a comment!

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Goda Smilingyte
Goda Smilingyte

Written by Goda Smilingyte

I talk about creativity, art and self-improvement.

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